Contact from the IVF Clinic

The IVF Clinic have been in touch. They sent us a letter asking me to phone on the first day of my period to book a pre-treatment scan and blood test which needs to be performed between days 2 and 7 of my cycle. They also sent a whole pile of forms for us both to fill in.

Phone on the first day of my period... oooookkkaaaaaaay. I have irregular cycles. On the day I received the letter, I was on day 30 something of my cycle. I may not have a day 1 until July. Cue: panic. Obviously, the solution to this problem is to phone the clinic and talk to them about it. I can't be the only woman referred for IVF to have irregular cycles, they must have dealt with this before. Calm. Except of course, the letter arrives on a Friday so I have an entire weekend of stressing about it before I can call them on the Monday.

The forms. Wow. I understand they need a lot of information but it really is pretty overwhelming. We've already filled in the forms with the GP to get referred. There's a file on us at the hospital with all our medical history and our test results. The IVF clinic now need to build a file on us themselves.

The forms include:

Patient History Forms (info on both of us)
Child Welfare Forms (one each)
Information Sharing and research consent forms (one each)
Pre-treatment scan questionnaire (for me)
Semen Analysis Form (for my lucky husband).

The Patient History Forms include all the standard: name, date of birth, height, weight, bmi, medical conditions, medication etc etc etc. They also include some questions which catch you off guard a bit, questions which make you stop and consider why they need to ask that. Questions about childhood illnesses and whether the male partner's testicles were descended at birth:

me: "were your testicles descended at birth?"
him: "I don't remember"
me: "can you ask your mum?"
him: "ask my aunt, she'll know"

send a message to his aunt. The response is: 'yes and no. one was, one wasn't.'

The bizarre conversations you have to have.

As a side note, we're very close with his aunt, she went through IVF for her second child and so is someone I find it useful to talk to.

Of course, it makes sense that they need to know everything, but when we already know our infertility isn't male factor, his testicles are kind of irrelevant.

The Information Sharing forms are consent forms about what information you're happy to share: personalised data, anonymised data, no data, data just about yourself, data about any resulting child. We had a long talk about this. Husband is a little over protective when it comes to personal information. I knew he wouldn't want to share anything. I'd share anonymous data about myself but I don't feel comfortable making decisions about the data of our as yet hypothetical child. We decided to opt out of information sharing on the basis that we can opt in at a later date if we want to.

Pre-treatment scan questionnaire: what day of the cycle are you on (43), any of: excessive hair growth (yes), acne or oily skin (no), cramps during period (yes), cramps at other points of cycle (no), and so on.

Semen analysis form: Name, Date of birth, how long have you abstained from sexual activity before the analysis (4 days), was the sample produced at the clinic (yes), any illnesses or medication in the last three months (no).

Child Welfare Forms. I've left these until last to talk about because, although these are very simple for us to fill in, it's difficult to have to complete them. The form asks if you have ever been convicted for a crime against children, whether you have any physical or psychological condition which could prevent you from being able to support the child.

I was very honest. I explained that I do have mental health issues, that I am under the care of a psychiatrist who is supportive of my pursuit of a pregnancy and who will monitor me throughout, referring me to ante-natal psychiatry from 4 months pregnant through until the baby is a year old. I will be well supported.

It kinda sucks to have to fill these forms in. If we could do this unassisted, we wouldn't have to prove we aren't going to abuse or neglect our child. There are people out there who are terrible parents but, because they can get pregnant without medical intervention, they don't have to fill in these forms, jump through these hoops. As if anyone would go through all of this, simply to have a child who they wouldn't treasure. However, I understand why they have to do these checks. The clinic themselves have a duty of care to us and to any resulting child. They can't, in good conscience, create a life which may then be treated badly. I know they have to do this; it's sad that they have to though.

About 20 signatures later and the forms are complete.

Monday came, I phoned the clinic and got through to a nice receptionist. I explained my predicament and she said that she would need to speak to a nurse and would I mind holding on. No problem. She comes back on the phone and says that she's sorry but there is no nurse available at the moment but she can ask someone to phone me back.

A little later in the afternoon, a nurse calls me and we have a chat. She explains not to worry too much about the days, it's more that if I did have a regular cycle, they would need to see me on those days, with no regular cycle she says we can come in whenever and would I like to book the appointment now. Appointment booked for me to have an ultrasound on my uterus and ovaries and a hormonal blood test and an appointment for my husband to do his semen analysis on the same day. The nurse also asked if I'd like to book our consultation appointment as there is about a 4 week waiting list on that one. So I booked our initial consultation appointment as well.

Very promptly, we get a letter confirming the date and time of both appointments. All very friendly, approachable, professional and exciting.